Breathe in....and out.

spinal twist

2012-01-26T22:41:00.000-06:00

spine twisting
head turned to the right
movement of muscles stretching and
accommodating the breathe

trying to calm the mind
slow the thoughts
open acceptance of misspoken words
and shared laughs

when will it become easy
when will vulnerability become natural
why is their judgement of actions
taken
and also judgement of steps left
untraceable
what are clear signals

thank goodness for the question of "are you happy?" and the honesty that's dripping from the eyes in the mirror.

2012-01-26T09:14:00.005-06:00

The attainment of any object is conditioned upon knowledge, volition and action. Unless these three conditions are forthcoming there is no execution or accomplishment.

Abdu'l-Baha
Foundations of World Unity
p. 100

Reality

2012-01-19T22:24:00.002-06:00

an article by my uncle

Crazy Stupid Love

2012-01-19T22:23:00.000-06:00

to write without the thought or letter I
---
to bath in sunshine while cars drive by
to receive a call of shared misery leading
to postponement of a much desired meeting
to calling one's sister and hearing joy in her voice
to laughing about the predictability of family
to lounging on a well worn in sofa
to cry and dance to music that awakens a note of longing
----

to write.
to validate one's peers, one's siblings, one's coworkers, one's parents.
to say openly I Love You. I think you are wonderful
to have a family who says this daily
to have trust

----

with a pen in hand it is possible to craft many a thing
to draw the portrait of the earth in the face of a flower
to sketch in quick strokes the lines of a piece of furniture
to draft a composition of musical notes that elevates conversation
to compose the lyrics to a song that friends discuss because they can't resolve just how the imprint of the words seems stuck to their skin
to write with feeling
to craft a story of such vivid landscapes that one could actually describe it as an escape from reality
we are possessors of a power that we are yet still unaware of.
---
to write.
and to be amused by life

We are Awesome...

2012-01-17T21:50:00.002-06:00

...and perhaps a little Vain.
my friends are accomplished doctors, writers, chemists, artist, musicians, actors, policy makers, lawyers, financial analyst, computer technicians, construction workers, teachers, individuals, engineers
working hard
enjoying life
i learn from them every day
we laugh often at the daily puzzles we face
and end our conversations with
"we are Awesome".

Photo - Courtesy of Bryce. - Enchanted Rock 7 Jan 2012

this isn't just one group of friends
but friends in Austin,
friends in North Carolina
friends in Bama
friends who travel hours to spend days together
friends in other countries
friends whose company i long for

it's a common theme
we are all in awe of ourselves
are we vain?
or just caught up in the awareness that we all possess a certain something
called motivation, joy, insight, purpose
our lives are not our own

tonight, I read a quote with a dear friend who is nothing but Awesome that speaks directly to this
it goes, " Do not busy yourselves in your own concerns; let your thoughts be fixed upon that which will rehabilitate the fortunes of mankind and sanctify the hearts and souls of men."

Arise.

hmm...don't remember when i started this one.

2012-01-17T21:50:00.001-06:00

Why so tired?
that's my question of the day.

2012-01-17T21:49:00.001-06:00

Having created the world and all that liveth

and moveth therein, He, through the direct
operation of His unconstrained and sovereign
Will, chose to confer upon man the unique
distinction and capacity to know Him and to
love Him -- a capacity that must needs be
regarded as the generating impulse and the
primary purpose underlying the whole of
creation.

Gleanings from the
Writings of Baha'u'llah
p. 65

Open to the Sky

2011-11-16T20:46:00.001-06:00

1. I drive as often as possible with my sunroof open.
The extra bit of sunshine on my face in the morning
guarantees that I will greet the day with a smile.

2. I drive home with my windows rolled down.
Allowing the wind to cascade my hair in every direction imaginable is my way
of saying - take that convention. I'm wild, i'm free, i'm fearless, i'm a lover of dancing to the music

3. I drive 25mins in traffic to work and
25mins in traffic to home
and somehow i feel there is a perfect balance in this journey.
Both the time at work and the time at home are well spent hours of my life.

-----------------------------------------
Yesterday, a friend mentioned to me that I had more Nerd cred then he originally thought. This is due to the fact that a favorite book of mine, Dune, is clearly a work of Sci-Fi. (I've read this novel so many times that my copy actually does have creases like the image to the left.) Typically I don't subscribe to any "category" or "generalization" of personality but to my chagrin...being called a nerd made me happy.

dependence on technology

2011-11-09T13:45:00.000-06:00

without an office printer, i feel lost.

i stand alone

2011-11-05T21:09:00.000-05:00

the world and all it's troubles and all its dreams
sit outside my front door
yet these 2 inches of wood and steel
provide only a dot of light
a clasped hand viewpoint of the rails of the concrete lane

if i invited you into my home
what story would you share
what facet of your character would i glimpse
the happy you
the sad you
the sarcastic you
would it be a truthful interaction

if i invited you into my home
could i speak with clarity
stare into your eyes and feel no hesitation
of hidden agendas

i dream of being without fear
of running through malls
standing next to strangers who blur into faces of the famous and anonymous
there is laughter, smiles, and
my keys are lost

sOooo cute.

2011-10-13T09:08:00.003-05:00

I want this puppy:
http://www.dailypuppy.com/puppies/elbee-the-cockapoo_2011-10-10

New Roads to Travel

2011-10-12T17:16:00.001-05:00

Looking back at old posts I realize that my writing style has changed. I'm happy for the evolution as well as sad at the loss. To recapture some of that old style, narrative as it was, let me say, My life is going in a new direction. I'm about to become a part of a new venture, that hopefully leads me to future dreams.
That's to say - my office environment is about to evolve!
I'm no longer going to be working from home!
Part of me is going to miss morning in my pajama's, standing up and dancing to songs, taking breaks at random moments to bake, walk, chat on the phone all with no one to judge my actions. But then another part of me is ready for the change of daily conversation with strangers, building new work relationships, waking up and driving to an office.

Beating the traffic - that common complaint that plagues American's hasn't been on my radar for three years. I wonder if i'll be able to handle it or will it instantly crave the quite calm of my home.
Shall let you know towards the end of next week.

words

2011-10-10T13:16:00.000-05:00

------ . ------ . ------- . ------ . ------ . ------ . ------ . ------- . ------ . ------ . ------ . ------ . -------

there is a line in every story that i

wish i had penned

made up of an idea, formed of words, crafting an image

it resonates and carries the story

and oftentimes you find its reflected in the title of the book

the written word has such power

and yet, its the unspoken words in real life that seem to carry more weight

the delay in responding

the roll of the eyes

the shrug of a shoulder, the sigh of exhaustion

we are an expressive brand of life

my weekend was spent in the company of individuals

who portray this to the little dot at the end of a sentence.

------ . ------ . ------- . ------ . ------ . ------ . ------ . ------- . ------ . ------ . ------ . ------ . -------

Something to Celebrate

2011-10-05T10:52:00.000-05:00

New Life
New Joy
The excitement of first tears, first laughter, first steps
I cannot wait for the emails and photos of my new niece
and the happiness of our family bounds to the skies.

Congratulations Tyson- Fananapazir's!!! :)

Something to live by...

2011-10-04T09:18:00.003-05:00

For one another must ye give up even life itself.
To every human being must ye be infinitely kind.
Call none a stranger; think none to be your foe.
Be ye as if all men were your close kin and honoured
friends. Walk ye in such wise that this fleeting
world will change into a splendour and this dismal
heap of dust become a palace of delights. Such is
the counsel of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, this hapless servant.

.

Selections from the Writings
   of Abdu'l-Baha
   p. 280

3

2011-10-03T13:32:00.000-05:00

so much to accomplish
creativity pour fourth
task check yourself off my list
move life

taking risks
courage is my friend
working hard and then running free
abundance - the word of my life

new thoughts: trips to remote countries
taking advantage of my contentment
to embark on new adventures
should I go or should i stay?

Gotye - Emotional

2011-09-12T09:14:00.000-05:00

Sometimes i fall in love with a song
so much so that it plays on repeat
and winds it way into the corners of my mind
it floats on the air and follows me
from room to room

i cry, i sing, i love.

If i was to write a book
i hope that i'd write with the same depth
the same hook that pulls you in and mirrors your every emotion
and keeps you coming back for more

feeling the need for some color...

2011-09-01T10:01:00.001-05:00

it's true :)

Integrity

2011-09-01T08:55:00.001-05:00

What does it mean to you?
What does it mean to me?

---
Thoughts to share at 8:45 am on 1 Sept 2011.
I wish i was a morning person - but i'm not.
I wish i could walk to my kitchen and find a balanced meal waiting on the counters for me - but i won't.
I wish i woke up with perfect 20/20 vision - but i can't.

oh these little things that we wake up with in the morning.
thoughts and feelings
where do they come from

instead of statements that end with a slightly negative twist
Could i instead please have - bubbling over energy, vibrancy, life
Could i instead please have - action and prayer
Could i instead please have - the willpower to think those thoughts and let them fly by without feeling the need to claim every thought as mine own

We have been created Noble.
I'd like this morning to embrace that and live it.

O SON OF SPIRIT! Noble have I created thee, yet thou hast abased thyself. Rise then unto that for which thou wast created.

O SON OF SPIRIT! I created thee rich, why dost thou bring thyself down to poverty? Noble I made thee, wherewith dost thou abase thyself? Out of the essence of knowledge I gave thee being, why seekest thou enlightenment from anyone beside Me? Out of the clay of love I molded thee, how dost thou busy thyself with another? Turn thy sight unto thyself, that thou mayest find Me standing within thee, mighty, powerful and self-subsisting.

quick question - ?

2011-08-29T09:51:00.002-05:00

what would be the synthesis of contentment and expectancy?
perhaps time will tell.

Ask me - Question me - Challenge me

2011-08-24T08:55:00.000-05:00

Questions found on a page in the Harvard Business Review:

1. What is it that you really want to be and do?2. What are you doing really well that is helping you get there?
3. What are you not doing well that is preventing you from getting there?
4. What will you do differently tomorrow to meet those challenges?
5. How can I help / where do you need the most help?

---
The value of asking questions, of looking for strengths and weaknesses, of understanding the motivating impulses behind our actions
should not be overlooked
if we close our eyes to our own imperfections
we will limp through life when we could fly
soar - rise to the challenge
work hard, conquer fears
ask me questions
don't let me hide behind curtains of words
let my words instead become the structure - the building blocks to something greater

born or created

2011-07-13T08:21:00.000-05:00

I collect quotes
Words and phrases that describe the life I wish to lead
Yet I'm held back by the watchman
The inner guardian that says
Be careful
Watch out
The world is watching, judging, observing
Are we born with fear
Or do we acquire it by degrees
Like riding a bike, moving from training wheels to pedaling with no kickstand
But in this case its a step in the opposite direction
Fear of vulnerability
Leads to greater fears of giving in, letting go, moving on
Just some thoughts that came to mind
And now the quote:

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight
of the shore.
- Andre Gide

street signs

2011-07-11T10:19:00.001-05:00

operating on four hours of sleep

determined to accomplish it all

rising with the alarm

praying with the dawn

exercise of the mind called for

can i maintain

---

it's been weeks again since my last post.

i've got a picture to share with you

a bit of nostalgia for the old times of design and street signs

I'm a fan of old design -

i feel it had a lasting feel...a permanence

that somehow seems to be missing from today

are we afraid to be devoted, to claim that it's ours?

it caught my eye -

2011-06-22T14:54:00.002-05:00

All things are possible - a photo from National Geographic.

Flamingos, Yucatán Peninsula

Something to share...

2011-06-19T21:58:00.001-05:00

You must change your focus and begin to think about all the things that are wonderful about You. Look for the positives in You. As you focus on those things, the law of attraction will show you more great things about You. You attract what you think about. All you have to do is begin with one prolonged thought of something good about You, and the law of attraction will respond by giving You more like thoughts. Look for the good things about you. Seek and ye shall find!

---

Music worth checking out:

http://www.mobleytheband.com/

quick post - more to come soon.

2011-06-15T16:12:00.000-05:00

feeling as if the worlds still zooming by under my feet
yet sitting still in the comfort of home

a recap of ten hours:
a dark grey thundercloud with tinges of orange dropping ash for a mile
a white van full of nuns in their habits having animated discussions
miles of landscapes that require a blank canvas to paint upon
bridges that soar into the sky
swamps full of life
warning signs of "extreme wildfire" potential
honking horns
familiar gas stations with friendly clerks
fresh pavement contrasting with potholes and rough vibrations of old roads
sunshine beating down through the windows
thank goodness for cruise control

my love is not the limit

2011-05-18T22:41:00.000-05:00

they came out of the sunshine.
(i always play the same song to wind my brain down to the notes of traceable thoughts)

today, i woke feeling the vibrations of the world around me
the walls i built up
were torn down by the steady pressure of gentle hands
unwinding the coils of anxiety, fear, stress, sadness

i am vulnerable
my heart is laying open and i know that i need to
be free
confident

my love is not the limit
i can reach heights unseen
i climb trees to see the sky
i swim to feel the sun on my back as the water glides by

the world says be

an elegance of love

2011-05-16T10:44:00.000-05:00

a portrait of my mother painting my grandfather

under the shade of the oak and pine trees of the nature trail

with the sun filtering through the branches and clouds to rest on the glimpse of a memory

thank you Geo for this photo - i hope you don't mind that i borrowed it.

oh my Bama.

2011-04-29T00:06:00.001-05:00

11:59pm.
she sits at her computer
idly glancing through the news
looking for information that can be passed along
wishing to be with her family even though
she knows they are without power and must be uncomfortable

but imagine
the time that opens up before you
when the distractions of society are pared down to the basics
when you sit for dinner with your family
have conversation, laughter
when your concerns are simple and you're grateful
grateful that your family is there
laughing and occasionally arguing but mostly just laughing
and disappearing into the woods for hikes
and piling into the truck to visit friends who may be less fortunate
able to assist and share warmth

yea, she should be doing her homework
thinking about the dichotomy between objectivism and relativism
but in a moment like this
all i can think about is my beautiful family and the state that i call home

it started off so good

2011-04-26T16:58:00.001-05:00

i was creative
there were stories to share
memories to illustrate
and laughter to create

and yet...february, march, april have all come and gone with barely any posting!
tragic for perhaps the ten people I know who read this blog regularly.
and for those special people, this is my message to you:

1am, 3am, 8am....

2011-04-22T08:56:00.000-05:00

the girls who live across from me
seem to bring drama into their lives on a frequent basis
for i hear this phrase every day....

"you don't know me".

as it's used, they are seeking attention
seeking answers, seeking something

i'd like to suggest that they start with themselves
perhaps if they began to define who they are in clear terms
the rest of the world wouldn't have so much trouble with it. :)

but then, this is all conjecture, and a one sided thought process...i just can't help myself....they speak so loudly and right outside my window.

In one week.

2011-04-17T16:57:00.020-05:00

Kings of Leon - amazed me on a weekday night

and Pete Yorn blew me away with his sexy voice on a Saturday night.

this city has something quite like no other city
a coffee shop owned by friends
discussions of cars and chickens (random but fun)
evenings listening to music and lounging by pools

community gardening

and classes on creating a framework for social action

i feel like my mind is back in use after a long hiatus
and its exciting

here is one fancy door hinge...

2011-04-06T23:06:00.002-05:00

...that i adore.

April Fool's Jokes I Like...

2011-04-01T08:53:00.000-05:00

http://mail.google.com/mail/help/motion.html

Google is Genius.

Next Year I Hope that when I click on the link, it automatically starts recording a video of me trying to control the computer with motion. Imagine all the footage they could get of people unwittingly believing what they read.

dreams

2011-03-31T10:06:00.000-05:00

this morning i woke to a dream of
clouds of tornadoes taking over the skyline
Crazy.

trips to plan

2011-03-30T13:37:00.000-05:00

i want to travel the west coast

visit China

take a ferry ride from Vancouver to Victoria Island

and yet every time I look at flights i'm dismayed by the cost

I think i might just have to bit the bullet and say,

"You only live once."

or I may have to find someone willing to jump in the car with me and take an epic road trip.

Getting Involved

2011-03-22T13:33:00.001-05:00

I've been convinced to take part in a community garden.
i'm not a gardener.
truly - I hate getting dirt under my nails.
but i love the outdoors and could care less about dirt on my clothes

strange, i know, but gardening commences this Sunday.
wish me luck.
and if you've got a favorite brand of gardening gloves that you like to use....let me know what they are!

last day - first day.

2011-03-20T09:44:00.002-05:00

you make me happy.

a winding road

with dips and curves

taking turns fast and slowing down by shifting gears

highlights of life - featuring conversations with light and joy

and moments of silence

as the trees crowd over the streets

~--*--~

i stand

i dance

i roll my hips, my shoulders, my neck

and celebrate the moment

~--*--~

the morning sky is marred by grey dusted clouds

hiding the expansive blue thats daylight

a metaphor of my Fast

layers of self to brush away

to the hidden grace that's closer then my lifeblood.

you make me so happy.

the 16th of March - what will it bring?

2011-03-16T08:43:00.000-05:00

"they came out of the sunshine
flowers nestled in their heads
see they'd been stumbling on the back streets...."
----
i find that i need headphones
a way to direct the individual notes of music
into my ears so every beat's appreciated
the subtly of chords aren't lost
and so that outside sounds are filtered into silence.

itunes has a free sampler download of music from sxsw
and the song by Boy & Bear - Mexican Mavis leaves me craving a live performance.

It's been a month of fuzzy head syndrome
waking up early motivated to eat, pray, and reflect
energy lasting three quarters of the day
then evenings of brain tingling questions of who, what, why
falling into exhausted rest
waking up early motivated and excited
i'm lucky - and sometimes I need reminders that it's so.
----
"honey, i won't give in , no i won't give in....See my love's not a limit"
-Boy&Bear

This is what I wish to do today....

2011-03-14T08:57:00.003-05:00

...build a home, fill it with helium balloons, and travel the world.

I can never say it enough - I love the Sun.

2011-02-25T11:34:00.000-06:00

It's 80F - the25th of February and I'm super excited for a drive in the Sun.

Can you say I love warm weather?

Yes, I think you can!

daydreams

2011-02-23T14:20:00.000-06:00

Wanting to write every day

Wanting to escape

Wanting to run and run and run

Wanting to dream impossible dreams

Exploding Dog. Oh, how well you capture my thoughts!

Tonight

2011-02-21T21:49:00.000-06:00

Tonight, I sit with my screen door open and the curtains drawn closed
the sound of the neighbor's air-conditioning unit is that of metal vibrations
Pandora plays my Mumford & Sons station from the bedroom
and the gentle trills of piano music float to my ears

I'm sipping a cup of tea and checking things off my "to do" list.
Is it strange that I have to tell myself to respond to emails?
that I have to pull thoughts from my head, write them down in ink on a blank square of paper, read them with a side glance of my eyes and transpose them with the keyboard into my laptop?

The weekend was spent in memory lane
Listening to an individual whom I admire and respect
Appreciating the eloquence in which he answered questions that shouldn't be asked and yet still float through the air (read people - read the writings and the letters we are sent - education is so important)
Tears filled my eyes at the sweet reunion of seeing friends and reminiscing about shared experiences

then to exercise the mind and body
walks and yoga
practices in concentration and focus
I'm ready to slip into dream land

ah - it's a good morning.

2011-02-04T11:35:00.002-06:00

I don't usually endorse commercials on my blog - but I really just love this one. Thanks cia for the link. :)

Came across this today...

2011-02-03T15:39:00.002-06:00

..and I must say I agree with it.

Some people you just love...

2011-02-03T09:51:00.000-06:00

...no matter the distance or the time you spend in each other's company there's just an innate understanding of who that person is. Oh and it also helps when they are family.

Joy!

2011-01-31T21:52:00.001-06:00

Joy gives us wings! In times of joy our
strength is more vital, our intellect keener,
and our understanding less clouded. We
seem better able to cope with the world
and to find our sphere of usefulness.

Abdu'l-Baha
Paris Talks
p. 109

Some Thoughts On Being A Virgo

2011-01-14T23:33:00.002-06:00

Here's the thing:
Not often do I find myself at a complete loss, I know what I know, and I like what I like. If I feel even a split-second indecision then it's not meant to be. That's my usual way of operating. Yet, in the last few weeks as I've been contemplating life decisions, it's turning out to not be as easy as it's been in the past. Now there are variables, variables which didn't exist before but all of a sudden seem important.

Also, I've been told I'm a Virgo. Oh, and yes, I've known my zodiac sign for years. What i'm saying is that till these last few months, my zodiac sign was just that a sign. But in my interactions with friends who place a lot of stock in zodiac signs, it's become rather interesting to see it as more then just words on a website. They see the truth in these signs and can clearly see parallels between personalities and zodiac signs. Yet even they seeing me as a Virgo realize I don't quite fit the mold all the time...and this is what I'd like to explore.

Here's a synopsis of the Virgo:

marked by a very sharp intellect...used to analyze the natural order of things...tend to be methodical and precise, being drawn only to such knowledge as can be applied usefully. They will happily share this with anyone, however as it confirms their own usefulness in the world and brings them out of their normally reserved shell, eager as they are to play their part....typically labeled as perfectionists. But their concern with high standards has little bearing on the pursuit of ideals; it is more a reflection of a need to have a tight grip on their environment.

What I'd love is to find the balance between being who I am as a Virgo and who I want to be as an achiever of the impossible, someone who's not afraid of failure, and someone who can make the world smile.

Starting Over

2011-01-07T17:52:00.001-06:00

It's been a long time since I've browsed through the wonders of explodingdog.com or even looked back at what i've written over the years. The language i've used in the various stages of my life over the past five years and the tone in which I expressed my emotions has varied as my surroundings changed. As you can see below, I've gone ahead and posted some of those drafts for you to read which I never got around to sharing earlier.

There are still drafts saved for my eyes only as the emotions expressed are personal in nature and to share them here would be like finding a rare signed edition of Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice and throwing it in the mud (i.e. disregarding it's worth and value).

i wonder who this was addressed to...

2011-01-07T17:46:00.000-06:00

words you want to say:

i sit admist piles of work
unable to focus
just thinking of who i am

my disregard for convention
has me leaving without any goodbyes
but turning my head to say "i'll miss you"

now this isn't written for you
don't let it go to your head
this is written because i

sit admitst piles of work
unable to focus

as it's written...

2011-01-07T17:42:00.000-06:00

you love me

here's another thought left behind...

2011-01-07T17:39:00.000-06:00

once we embrace our nobility - I think it's hard to hide it.

looking backs at drafts never posted...

2011-01-07T17:37:00.002-06:00

...and i found this:

this blog could quickly become a tribute to the world of music and it's influences.

late at night, like a drug, moving units is my beat of choice..

during the day while cooking I move to sean hayes, phoenix, kings of leon,

at night on the road there's Metallica, Audioslave, Smashing Pumpkins,

-I tune out at work to a station on Pandora called blind pilot

...I find it to still be true. Music has such an influence on my day-to-day.

Quote of the Day

2011-01-06T13:54:00.001-06:00

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."

- E.E. Cummings

501

2011-01-05T13:13:00.005-06:00

Yesterday's post was my 500th post on this blog, which considering the number of years I've been at this isn't too much, Yet at the same time here I am still at it - still sharing little tidbits of information - so maybe it is an accomplishment.

Today i'd like to share a piece of music that was introduced to me by Juliet Seals:

Oatmeal w Butter & Honey

2011-01-04T10:45:00.000-06:00

I'm a fan of the simple breakfast.
Oatmeal with a dollop of butter and a honey drizzled all over it.
It's delicious and semi-nutritional and it requires very limited time to concoct.

I've been lying in bed trying to overcome a sickness I picked up over the holiday weekend.
My voice has all but disappeared and if you crave conversation you might get to hear me sounding like a man for my voice has dropped five levels.

The design on my blog has changed once more
it's raining outside
and i'm very much lacking inspiration in what to share with you all today.

But I've had conversations lately about how important communication is to our well-being and so I felt I should contribute a few words in order to jump start my brain into thinking its a habit. So here you go a few words of wisdom for the New Year:

If you think it, do it. Be creative. Don't be afraid or hesitant to speak out when you feel the urge. Don't judge. Be open and flexible to the world around you. Seek friendships. Eat delicious meals. Don't focus too much on the material world. Smile. Laugh. Play games. Communicate. Evaluate your goals and actions. Take steps to achieve your dreams. Be in love.

Every Atom in Existence

2010-12-10T22:21:00.000-06:00

Another powerful quote to read:

O SON OF BOUNTY!

Out of the wastes of nothingness, with the clay of My command I made thee to appear, and have ordained for thy training every atom in existence and the essence of all created things.

Baha'u'llah-

The Persian Hidden Words

This makes two amazing things to ponder in one week. First we are to consider the world of the soul and now i'm bewildered by the knowledge that "every atom in existence" has been ordained as an instrument for my training (the stress up above is from me). What does it mean? How does one envision this truth?

Restart - Rejump - Repost - Rewrite

2010-12-08T15:25:00.003-06:00

Verily I say, the human soul is exalted above all
egress and regress. It is still, and yet it soareth;
it moveth, and yet it is still. It is, in itself, a
testimony that beareth witness to the existence
of a world that is contingent, as well as to the
reality of a world that hath neither beginning nor end.

Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah

It's been awhile since my last post; however, I've made a promise to an individual who's worth is immeasurable that i'd put something up this week, soo i'll start with the above quote. Beautiful, mystical, thought provoking, and clarity. I feel if you want to restart your creative juices what could be better then something that leaves you thinking with both sides of your brain.

And it's only Saturday

2010-11-06T21:24:00.001-05:00

On Friday night we rocked out to this amazing guy's vocal talent:
http://andygrammer.com/
You have to check out his video it's interactive and catchy and uplifting.

Following a dinner at Kerby Lanes and a night driving around Austin with my newbie friends, Jack and I stayed up till all hours of the morning reflecting on past experiences and looking forward to the future and the challenges we hope to face.

Then today we went and partook of something that's unique to this area: The Gypsy Picnic Trailer Food Festival. By the way, it was in the 70's today with blue skies and gorgeous sun rays filtering through the green of the trees...and basically i'm in heaven.

For My Dear Ameh

2010-10-29T08:31:00.000-05:00

O SON OF JUSTICE! Whither can a lover go but to the land of his beloved? and what seeker findeth rest away from his heart’s desire? To the true lover reunion is life, and separation is death. His breast is void of patience and his heart hath no peace. A myriad lives he would forsake to hasten to the abode of his beloved.

Strange View

2010-10-26T11:17:00.001-05:00

The view from my apartment window is that of a small outdoor hallway leading to a door. If I was someone fascinated by the comings and goings of my neighbors I'd say it was a good design - but I'm not - so I wish I could slide the apartment complex five feet to the right where the view is of blue skies and live oaks reaching towards the sun.

If I had a superpower - today my superpower would be the ability to change the designs of buildings to suit my whims. One look, one thought and we'd lose metal fabrication and cookie cutter boxes to indulge in some pure architectural bliss of incredible design and eye catching materials.

music selections for 25 October

2010-10-25T14:49:00.001-05:00

yes. thanks cia, for sharing this clip.

something brought to me by Pandora this morning

a moment

2010-10-21T23:05:00.001-05:00

there is always a moment when I feel myself inspired to write, to draw, to sing
to be still, to dance as if no one is watching, to lean into the sun
and it's those moments that i like to document by words typed into sentences and phrases.

i need to share the moment, to paint the picture that I wish you could all see, to laugh at my own imagination
and to embrace who I am in this world of ours.

yet, i've found these moments sliding by in the last month as I picked up my life and decided to start a new.
the time to think was lost in the emotional slide of feeling as if i was wading through thick mud to reach my destination. i cannot describe how torn i am to be excited and thrilled by the challenge of living in a new city and yet at the same time very aware that my actions in moving might have been a bit selfish and that i'm very far from my dear family.

but i can describe for you the moment when i greeted a stranger on a plane who would be my flight companion for the next hour an a half as I headed home to pack up my belongings. it was glorious freedom. it was a conversation about life's spiritual journeys, about the perception of the individuals who make up the country of Israel, it was about the choices we make in our lives, it was personal and open, it was a revelation of living life with no barriers and offering insights of vision and thought
and it left me beaming - i felt like my spirit was glowing - and it lead me to hope that my choice to move will open doors that I've yet to even discover

today there was a moment:

i was sketching at Central Park when a young mother and her two kids came up to the bridge where I was standing. The little toddler boy excitedly ran back and forth from side to side to exclaim in wonder as the turtles swam underneath. it was a moment of pure joy.

on a Tuesday morn

2010-09-28T12:01:00.000-05:00

Things to do:

have breakfast and tea - check

sign my name a gazillion times on pieces of white paper - check

move into apartment - check

do a little dance of excitement - check

Things to buy right away:

Brita filter

Toilet paper

The rest can come whenever.

I'll post photos as I take them but i'm planning a whole before and after series....first comes paint...then furniture...then pictures on the walls...then voila.

To remember:

2010-09-12T20:55:00.002-05:00

Perfection is attained by slow degrees, it requires the hand of time.” - Voltaire.

oh, shoot.

2010-09-11T12:48:00.000-05:00

I was going to upload some photos of these amazing cards I saw in the "Book People" yesterday but then I brilliantly deleted them off of my phone. yay! (a very sarcastic yay). As that's not going to happen, I'll instead post a few pictures of my birthday lunch that was beyond amazing, which was a gift of my dear friend Jaclyn:

For my readers in Huntsville, AL - One time only Sale on Furniture!!!

2010-09-10T14:20:00.000-05:00

We are selling the beautiful, one of a kind furniture and artwork we staged the home with that is located in the Preserve at Clayton Pond. All of the furniture was purchased during a private buying trip with Richard Cable Interiors. Richard helped design the house and we hand picked the furnishings that went into it. Many of the pieces are one of a kind.

We’ll open the gates for viewing TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14 from 12:00p.m.-6:30p.m. Invite your client who is moving into a new home and looking for that unique piece of furniture.

http://www.uimagineit.com/about-us/our-blog

an article with a brief mention on Bama.

2010-09-08T09:34:00.001-05:00

I <3 this post from the NY Times for the section on Alabama.
http://frugaltraveler.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/09/07/the-final-stretch-and-home-again/
Especially for this line, "Then it hit me. My friend Greg is not the rare Alabaman who is charming and gracious: people from Alabama are just this nice." It's a statement I've often said to friends and strangers as I tried to describe the beauty of living under the umbrella of Southern Charm. People are gracious and welcoming and helpful.

It's why i'll probably end up back in Bama after I experience living away for a few years ; for it kind of pulls at my heart strings.

2010-09-07T22:38:00.000-05:00

by the way, have i mentioned i'm excited to shop for furniture and decorate my own place.
If I haven't mentioned, I probably should.
i'm excited.

The rain in spain stay's mainly in the plains.

2010-09-07T15:44:00.000-05:00

It's pouring down rain and I'm sitting at a cafe that strangely enough reminds me of the cafe's in Haifa, Israel. There are hanging and potted plants strewn around. Wire-mesh tables and chairs and indie music playing in the background. Today I went and applied for an apartment of my own here in Austin, TX. It was a little beyond the price range which I had hoped for but the location and convenience of living in the Hyde Park area of Austin, strongly outweighed any other considerations. As far as finances I'll make do by eating more ramen noodles. :) But i also don't know yet if my application will be accepted...so all this discussion might be premeditated.

Here are some additional photos that match my earlier blog post "a brief jaunt in the car"

bit by bit - part 2

2010-08-31T21:16:00.001-05:00

we went to see the bats and in our early arrival found this great little park on S.Congress with a waterfall wall and benches galore

Lake Austin...sadly the Bats didn't perform to the standard which we expected.

Maybe next time

Bikram Yoga - The Oddity Odyssey - two things experienced in the first two weeks

Doughnuts anyone? I'm getting back into my baking groove - so far i've made biscuits and cookies with Jack. I shall attempts doughnuts and pies and scones soon.

Time's flying and i've got so much to do.

photos...bit by bit...they will be coming

2010-08-30T22:52:00.000-05:00

on the road from Gulfport to Houston

a bridge i loved

the city of Houston

alabama street

Brian's classroom

on the road to Austin

disclaimer: these are all from my cell phone and so not exactly stellar quality.

a brief jaunt in the car

2010-08-30T16:10:00.000-05:00

took us down 45th street into a neighbor hood of eclectic design styles...
to a cliff side park on a mountain with a view overlooking Lake Austin with homes with manicured green glowing lawns and boat houses....
to a winding road with yellow caution signs and speed limits of 25 that had live oaks reaching to each other to twine up towards the sky....
to a rust colored bridge that was seen from the cliff top and was beautiful to find and drive under all while exhaling in excitement and dancing to the joy of discovery....
to a city within a city that boasted of fantastically imaginative homes that i can only dream of living in with my own family....
to deer, lots and lots of baby fawns, and deer crossing the road right in front of me (i can never escape them)....
to a stop at a joint called the Hula Hut for some cranberry water as we overlooked the sunset over the lake.......

it was a drive that was beautiful.
there is so much to discover and uncover and explore and we must all settle for more.

so much to blog about....

2010-08-28T13:53:00.000-05:00

for now I'll leave you with this:

This phenomenal world will not remain in an unchanging condition even for a short while. Second after second it undergoes change and transformation. Every foundation will finally become collapsed; every glory and splendor will at last vanish and disappear, but the Kingdom of God is eternal and the heavenly sovereignty and majesty will stand firm, everlasting. Hence in the estimation of a wise man the mat in the Kingdom of God is preferable to the throne of the government of the world.

~ Abdu'l-Baha,

Tablets of the Divine Plan, p. 79

And then later today i'll come back and write off the last few days: what i've seen, experienced, and thought.

anthem

2010-08-24T11:43:00.000-05:00

Jack and I have decided this is my Anthem for the few weeks that I stay in Austin:

There are so many pro's to staying in this lovely city but is it the best decision for my future? We shall see. Shall I stay or should I go?

tired but happy

2010-08-22T17:02:00.001-05:00

here's a little video received by my cousin today, which i felt like sharing with everyone.

also, today i took my first hot yoga class.
it was awesome and exhilarating and i can't wait for my class tomorrow...But i need to stock up on electrolytes because i'm feeling beyond exhausted right now.

oh and for anyone who doesn't know.

2010-08-21T12:48:00.002-05:00

Today is that wonderful day 28yrs ago when my sister/cousin/Lucia was born. If you have her phone number call and wish her a fabulous day, if you have her email address send her a loving and cheerful message of love, if you are friends on Facebook...you know the drill.

:) Love you Cia.

Five Second Austin Update

2010-08-21T12:47:00.000-05:00

Too many days have passed since i've updated this little space here so here's a five second update for all those who may be interested:

I am in Austin, TX now.
And enjoying it.
My current state of mind: Trying to figure out if this is going to be the place.
My current place of rest: My awesome roommate Jaclyn's lovely and comfy red couch.
My current thought on the feasibility of moving here: Seems highly possible.
My current list of things to do: Is beyond a one or two day capacity. I need days to accomplish it all.
My current frustration: the inability to do my work remotely as had been planned. Does anyone know of someone who can fix this little situation for me? So that i can access my desktop back in AL from my laptop here in TX!
My current financial situation: Stable as long as I don't go out for every single meal and keep to the basics of bread, eggs, and coffee + dessert.
My current thought for the second: Time to log off to go meet an old friend from Haifa, Johanna, for lunch.

Tada.

One day down.

2010-08-02T21:21:00.001-05:00

and everything's going swell.
I managed to cross a few things off my list of action items and have five more days to do the rest. How i'll manage it all...i've absolutely no clue...but it will all work itself out somehow.

one more thing...

2010-08-01T23:42:00.000-05:00

...in the cleaning of our office/basement space i came across my favorite tape from the 90's: Alanis Morissette's "Jagged Little Pill". Does anyone have a tape player I could borrow?

weekend of papers and spiderwebs

2010-08-01T23:40:00.000-05:00

certain things planned for this weekend necessitated both mental powers and physical strength, and also a healthy dose of humor. what i speak of was the extra work necessary to reorganize all the paperwork for my families business in preparation for my move. My hope was to organize "everything" and this involved more than i had expected ...
paperwork is heavy stuff.
especially as in office records have to be maintained for over 5+years, one is left with box upon box of documents to alphabetize and organize. With everyone in my family working together, we managed not to strain any backs as we brought in new filing cabinets...but the dust and spiderwebs and the paper...thousands upon thousands of pieces of paper still remaining to be filed....

oh, shoot, in truth, i'm too tired to even describe all that remains to be done.

but i must say to a few special people...sorry i was unavailable this weekend. I truly wanted to come and listen to live music as I adore it so...but there was just no time!!!

I'm heading out in a week's time....let's hope I can stick to my own deadline.

Giving in

2010-07-25T23:15:00.000-05:00

all i want is PB&J
and sadly we've got no bread in the house. It's a tragedy.
seeing at it's 11:09pm there is no way i'm driving down to the store for a loaf.
but you can bet that tomorrow i'm going down...and nothing can stop me!!!

On to a serious thought, tonight I let my war on patience get the best of me and I reacted to a situation with pure ol'impatience. It's my personal challenge and i'm working on it not getting the best of me...however....

...if anyone can think of an appropriate quote to counter the urges of impatience please send it my way!

Inspired and Running

2010-07-19T13:11:00.001-05:00

Article of my Day:

Surgeon Who Repaired Racer’s Heart Joins Him as He Puts It to Test

wildlife report

2010-07-16T17:15:00.001-05:00

yesterday, i saw two foxes run by the large oak in the front driveway.

it's a veritable zoo in my yard.

Cake - love it - both the food form & the music form

2010-07-15T10:35:00.001-05:00

was up till around 4am reading a book
just a work of fiction
but i had to skim ahead to see what would happen
and it's a large book so it kept me going to the wee hours of the morn

i'm not a patient person
and my fast reading skills probably lay true testament to the fact that i want to know what happens before it's reasonable to know what happened.

but i went to sleep with a smile knowing i'd get at least 4.5hrs of sleep before today started.

also - it's Thursday, the crepe myrtle is in full bloom outside my window. The deer are eating the pears that have fallen to the ground as usual and Pandora is surprising me with a lovely selection of songs so i just might make it through a full day w/lots of energy.

new friend in an unexpected place

2010-07-09T16:02:00.002-05:00

i've found a new friend. a beautiful little hummingbird who's followed me from the front porch to the outside window of my office. Standing one foot from him as his little wings beat oh so fast.

It's possibly he's attracted to the red shawl i've taken to wearing indoors; but through a glass window to a desk 20 ft away it seems so improbable.

I'll enjoy this friendship while it lasts....time to learn how to make hummingbird food.

Currently Listening to when not obsessing about the Presets:

2010-07-08T22:07:00.001-05:00

New Music provided by a lovely friend, Renee.

The Temper Trap
http://www.myspace.com/thetempertrap
first song to listen to: Sweet Disposition

Two Quotes for Deep Thought

2010-07-08T21:10:00.003-05:00

Humility exalteth man to the heaven of glory and
power, whilst pride abaseth him to the depths of
wretchedness and degradation.
-Baha'u'llah,
Epistle to the Son of the Wolf

Despair, both here and hereafter, is all you will gain from self-indulgence
-Abdu'l-Baha, The Secret of Divine Civilization

four hours

2010-07-05T21:28:00.000-05:00

four hours in which to do a thousand different things
four hours in which to create lists
four hours in which to exercise to build up a sweat and create energy
four hours in which to listen to endless streaming dance music
four hours in which to sun bath
four hours in which to watch Disney TV
four hours in which to bake scones, cakes, and cookies
four hours in which to deep clean every room of the house
four hours in which to respond to emails from weeks and months ago
four house in which to respond to emails two days old
four hours in which to make phone calls to friends and family

it's your guess as to how i spent my four free four hours this afternoon.

nothing is at it should be

2010-07-03T10:26:00.000-05:00

every team thats had the odd's to win in this World Cup has lost.
and it's making my life very stressful.

first USA is out
Then Mexico
then Brazil
and now it looks as if Argentina will be out.

ahhh, man, what a change in events.
i'm predicting that it will be Germany vs. the Netherlands in the final.

reunion time

2010-07-01T22:09:00.000-05:00

my ten year high school reunion is this weekend.
i have a feeling i'll be seeing lots of kid photos and wedding rings. :)
looking forward to seeing the change in everyone
and truly, these ten years have just flown by!

wowza - to sum it up.

2010-07-01T16:41:00.001-05:00

Back to the chalkboard:
After watching the movie, Knight & Day, the concept that geniuses are always interpreted as writing in formula over any available space came to mind. It's the standard for all movies, constant scribble only to be understood by the genius him/herself. Which leads me to believe, that if I scribbled all over the walls people would start to think i was a genius too. :-P
----
sorry it's been so long, i've been overwhelmed and underwhelmed with all thats been taking place in my life. First off, i've decided i'm moving....to Austin, TX. It's going to be a trial run type of thing, but i'm super excited because i'll be living with one of my flatmates from Haifa and exploring a new place and trying to figure out a little bit more about who I am. It's not an easy question to answer. The idea of who we are is always relevant to the time and the place and so i'm itching to see who I'll become in Texas.

Maybe i'll finally get around to buying myself a pair of cowboy boots to replace the purple and pink ones I grew out of when I turned 13 yrs old. If I do so, i'll post a picture.
----
Also - just got back from a fabulous weekend in North Caroline where we (Nav's, Mona, and I) spent time with the previously mentioned Atlanta crew. If only we lived in the same city....life would be too ideal. Good food, lots of laughter, world cup games, fun times rock climbing, and friends.. amazing friends.
sigh. big hugs to all of you!

as my mother says.

2010-06-17T14:31:00.000-05:00

According to my mother coffee is the root of all evil.

2010 FIFA World Cup™: Latest Matches

France	0	:	0	Mexico	-	Live update (45')
Greece	2	:	1	Nigeria	-	Highlights

Also, two world cup games a day. I'm in heaven.

Can't believe how lucky I am to be able to have the games playing while I work.

Four times a year

2010-06-17T09:41:00.000-05:00

Loving local events such as:

www.sidewalkartsstroll.com

and visiting friends.

a month of games

2010-06-15T09:18:00.002-05:00

Cote d'Ivoire is playing Portugal as I type this.
My priority is work but my preference is the World Cup.

Good thing I have it recording to watch later on.

just venting a thought

2010-06-11T21:49:00.000-05:00

also, may I say that driving home without a cell phone on a six-hr trip while not an unheard of event say ten years ago, was strangely unsettling in this day & age. Especially as the first 1.5 hrs I had to deal with a guy in a big truck driving right besides me or right on my tail, and I couldn't reach over and call someone to give him the hint to go away.

Did he expect me to wave and start up a conversation with him?
or perhaps, stop my car so we could exchange numbers????
ugh.

in summary.

2010-06-11T21:42:00.000-05:00

"O.N.E." by Yeasayer
http://vimeo.com/10047666

so as some of you may have seen in the status updates that i've posted, the last few days have been a bit hectic. After months of hoping to take some time off to visit my grandparents, I was able to caravan down with my cuz, Brian, to spend three full days with them. It was relaxing and carefree, especially once my cell phone died completely. Amazingly, the utter detachment from phone calls, texts, emails, was something I really began to appreciate.

On Sunday evening after waking up from a nap, I went and sat on my grandparents front porch. The rain poured down around me and all I had was a ball point pen and my journal. There was no stray thought dedicated to what email I had to send; No concern over answering a missed call.

Just myself and the rain for minutes and seconds of peace. When my grandparents joined me for a two hour long conversation on the subject of their love and their early travels in life, I was able to focus so easily on the words they shared. Their ability to move from city to city with young kids in tow while my grandfather looked for the journalism job that he longed for, was a lesson in perseverance and love. They will be celebrating their 60th anniversary this coming December and it make my heart melt to watch them walk arm-in-arm or dance together to the music.

sigh. i love them and all that they teach me and share with me and provide for me.

And well, here i am again writing on my laptop, plugged into my cell phone (which had to be replaced - even the Verizon people had no clue what happened to it), with my hotmail account passwords changed (sorry everyone who got spam mail from me on Saturday), listening to music and reading news articles, all while still avoiding responding to emails that really do need answers! :P

Sunny & Humid - the way I like it.

2010-06-03T16:51:00.000-05:00

They may have appeared on the world scene a few years ago, but they just popped up into my world today: http://www.bittersweetmusic.com/ Specifically, check out: Dirty Laundry - Skeewif Remix.

Wish I had more to write or share but at the moment i'm more interested in...

status update

2010-06-01T15:32:00.002-05:00

working in a basement cave
with artificial light
listening to norah jones on pandora

something is wrong with this situation.

An artistic interpretation

2010-05-31T14:23:00.004-05:00

Just an artistic interpretation created by a few ladies I know of a paragraph from the 2010 Ridvan message from the Universal House of Justice. One of many ways to read and visualize what has to be a powerful group of words found on page 3, third paragraph.